Oblivious
by MonaLisa20
Summary: "There was once a chance I didn't take . . ." Lloyd/Genis, implied Emil/Marta and mentions of Genis/Presea. Romance and Angst One-shot!


Hey, everyone! Welcome to the factory. Today I bring you a Gelloyd fic. This one's a bit more angsty than my usual stories, and I tried to use a different writing stye.

_Info on this story:_

**Title: **Oblivious

**Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the new world **

**(Post second game)**

**Lloyd's POV**

**Raiting:** T

**Genre:** Romance and Angst

**Pairings:** Lloyd/Genis, implied Emil/Marta and mentions of Genis/Presea

**Warnings: **You know the drill.

I hope you enjoy!

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><p><strong>OBLIVIOUS<strong>

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><p>There was once a chance I didn't take . . .<p>

It was a few years back - about three, I believe. It was a few months after we closed the door to the Ginnungagap but a few months before Emil came back to us.

Marta was taking things much better than we expected, she had a very positive view of things and never once lost hope on reuniting with Emil. The rest of us weren't as optimistic. I sometimes think even_ I_ am not as optimistic as I was when we started the journey of regeneration so long ago. Something broke the day we defeated Mithos, and I was never the same again.

But . . . now I'm even worse. I feel as though the only thing I have in common with the "old me" is my name. The Professor says it's simply because I grew up. But I know it's not that. Growing up isn't _this_. I do know what made me this way, and it's my own fault.

So, where was I? Oh right. On those months before Emil came out of the Ginnungagap.

We were all setting off again – each of us going back to whatever life we had before we were forced back into preventing the end of the world. My plan was to go back to Iselia and visit dad for a few days before I went back to collecting exspheres. Colette had been traveling with me before, so I figured I might ask her if she wanted to come with me again, but she had a plan of her own.

"I'd love to go with you, Lloyd. But . . . I can't" She said, lowering her eyes.

"Why not?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.

"I want to stay here and become a teacher! Professor Raine says she'll train me and I can even help her give a few classes now a then" She smiled warmly but the smile quickly faded "I'm sorry" She said.

"Hey. There's nothing to be sorry about. That's great! I bet Paul will be excited about you being his teacher" I grinned.

"Really?" She asks innocently "You are not mad at me?"

"Of course not" I shook my head still smiling.

And I wasn't. Colette had already done so many things for the sake of other people, that I was glad she was finally doing something that would make _her _happy.

I went back to my old room at my dad's house to start packing for this new trip. I never expected a visit since everyone seemed to be focused on their own stuff, so when Genis stopped by I was more than surprised.

"So what are you doing now?" I asked him after zipping up my bag and setting it on the floor. He sat down on my bed.

"I'm not sure" He shrugged "I've been thinking about something, but I still don't know if that's the best idea"

"What do you mean?" I asked, sitting down next to him. "You are thinking about going to the Palmacosta Academy? Or maybe Syback?"

"I, um, I could do that" he said "but that isn't what I've been thinking about"

"Do you wanna tell me?" I asked.

"When are you and Colette leaving?"

"I want to leave tomorrow morning. But Colette isn't coming" I said.

"Why not?" He asked blinking.

"Well," I smiled "She said she wants to stay here and be a teacher like the Professor"

"Really?" Genis said looking surprised "How come? I mean. She was never the brightest crayon in the box . . . how is she going to teach other kids?" he had this horrified look on his face. I chuckled.

"Um, so" Genis said suddenly "If Colette isn't going. Can _I_ go with you?" I didn't know why he was blushing, but his cheeks had this soft baby pink flush.

"You think Professor Sage will agree to that?" I asked "I don't want her to slap me the next time I see her" I grinned.

"She'll be okay with it. I'm not a kid anymore" Genis said firmly.

I raised my hands defensively "I know, I know" I smiled "It'd be great if you could come with me. Who wouldn't want to travel with their best friend, huh?" And there it was again. That rosy blush in his cheeks. He smiled shyly.

"But, hey, weren't you thinking about something? Wasn't that what you just said?" I asked suddenly. The blush on his face deepened.

"I told you I don't know if it's the best idea" He lowered his gaze.

"Come on, tell me. Maybe I can help" I sought his eyes to get him to meet mine.

He did something entirely different to what I was expecting. He reached out and took my ungloved hand in between his two soft ones. Mine looked abnormally big and rough in contrast. He stared at it with a softness I've never seen in him before and leaned down to place a single, soft, chaste kiss on top of it. He kept holding it tenderly.

"You mean a lot to me" He said in a voice too different to his usual playful, know-it-all tone.

"Genis, you're so weird" I chuckled, taking back my hand "You didn't have to say that. You mean a lot to me, too. That's why we're best friends" I said dumbly.

He shook his head with a sad expression "You are very brave and strong" He paused "You are a good person, Lloyd. You never discriminated Raine or me, even after you found out we were half-elves. You still consider us friends"

I didn't understand what was going on, so all I could say was "Of course. You are my friends no matter what. You'll always be"

"And no matter how bad things got, you never lost hope. You saved us all" He said.

Everything felt so weird. He looked so sad and everything he said sounded as if he was saying goodbye even if he just told me he wanted to come with me and collect exspheres. What was going on?

"That's why I love you so much" He bit his lower lip and looked at me with a scared expression "That's why I love you so, so much" He repeated.

I blinked, unsure of what he was trying to say. "I love you, too, Genis" I said, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder "What's going on? What are you trying to tell me? Whatever it is we - "

"Ugh. Why are you so stupid?" He frowned and shook off my hand as he stood up. "I wasn't _trying _to tell you anything. I just told you"

"What do you mean?"

He growled. "I said I love you!" He said with exasperation "I. Love. You" He frowned "And don't pretend to not understand what I'm saying. Because I can't be any clearer"

I sat there, looking at him with wide eyes and a parted mouth. I don't know how long I just sat there, staring at him without saying anything until Genis finally tried to get me out of my trance.

"Well? H-how do you f-feel about me?" He said with a frown, trying to sound confident, but his deep blush and stuttering gave away how nervous he was.

I swallowed, my mind was blank. I didn't know what to say "But you are my best friend . . ." I said. That wasn't even an answer but it was the first –and only- thing that came out of my mouth that night.

He nodded, seeming to understand what I meant, even if I didn't mean anything by saying that. "I see" He said with watery eyes. He turned around and left. I didn't stop him.

After that, I just laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. My mind felt gummy and empty. I simply was unable to process what just happened. At the break of dawn, I woke up, grabbed my stuff and left on my rheaird.

I didn't come back to Iselia for a whole year.

Maybe it's true what they said, I was –and still am- too stupid to understand anything. Love is too complicated for a brain as dumb as mine. So it took me twelve months to start processing what he told me. I saw it clearly then and knew that even if I didn't return his feelings for me, I never meant to hurt him as callously as I did. He was my dearest friend. I just had to go back and apologize and try to rescue our friendship. So I jumped back on my rheaird and flew back to Iselia and straight to his house.

"He left a few months ago" said the Professor. She didn't seem mad at me at all. Had Genis not told her about what happened?

"Where did he go?" I asked. I had to find him. No matter what. There was this tightness in my chest. I felt anxious, desperate to find him and go back to being best friends.

"I'm certain he said he would apply to the Palmacosta Academy" she said "He said it was on your suggestion. It seems you finally had a good idea, Lloyd. For a change" She said, crossing her arms.

"Palmacosta. Alrght. Thank you, Professor" I ran back to my rheaird.

Genis would be fifteen years old now, I thought. I kept wondering how he had changed on this year. Or if he had at all. But when I got to Palmacosta, the school principal told me Genis had dropped out about four weeks ago for unknown reasons.

If he wasn't in Iselia and he wasn't here. Where else could he have gone?

I searched the city, trying to find clues. A lot of people had seen him. But no one knew where he was. The tightness in my chest was back. I went all the way to Syback, but no one had seen him there either. I went then to Meltokio, to see if Zelos had heard anything about him.

It seemed as if that city grew every time I visited. There were more stores, more people, more hotels . . . and the people got snobbier by the second. I passed by a few nobles on my way to Zelos's house and they wrinkled their noses and called me 'bumpkin' loud enough for me to hear. I ignored them just as I always did.

"Bud!" Zelos greeted me once I got to his mansion "I haven't seen you in ages!" He said happily. "I thought you forgot about your good-ol' Zelos" He winked "What brings you here, buddy?"

"I wanted to know if you've seen Genis. I've been looking for him but no one seems to know where he went" I said.

"Oh? I didn't know that brat was running away" He said, sounding surprised.

"Have you seen him?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yeah. Sure. I saw him just yesterday. He was staying at one of the inns here. I think he's been helping little Presea on her store"

_Presea_. And for some reason that tightness was back on my chest. But this time . . . it felt tighter. "Do you know where that is?" I asked.

"Sure, bud. The charm store is right at the city entrance. Next to the item shop. Want me to come with you?"

"No. Thanks" I grinned "I just want to go see if he's there. The Professor's worried" I lied. But he didn't press any further.

I found the shop but neither Presea nor Genis were inside. There was this young man running the shop and he said they both went to pay a visit to Altessa, so I quickly left to see if I could catch up with them before they decided to go somewhere else.

This was so weird. It was as if I was chasing Genis. Which in a sense, I was. I forgot about the exspheres altogether and couldn't focus on anything else other than finding him.

But I think he didn't want to be found. Since a year later, I still hadn't seen him. Genis would be sixteen now, and as every day went by, I got more and more curious as to how he looked like. Did he get taller? Did he get smarter? Did he . . . still feel the same way about me? The last question kept bugging me for some reason. I _wanted_ him to feel the same way about me. And whenever I thought he probably didn't anymore, it felt as though my throat was closing. I didn't understand why. But there was this part of me hoping that he was still waiting for a proper answer. But what _would_ be my proper answer?

Another year went by, and I just kept following the few leads I had on finding him. Where was he? Whenever I thought I'd finally catch him, he went somewhere else . . . with Presea. Where they running away together? _Eloping_? It bothered me and I didn't know why. He had a crush on her before. Was that crush back? Was he just confused when he told me he was in love with me? Maybe he got over it and realized he never stopped having feelings for Presea. Genis would be seventeen now. Did he think about me, too?

Until one day, I finally managed to see him. I was having a terrible day. I crashed my rheaird a few miles away from Mizuho and walked to the village to see if Sheena could help me fix it.

And there he was. Genis was calmly walking toward the wishing well with a small cardboard box on his hands. He was taller, but not that much. He was still very slim and delicate-looking. His hair was a bit longer than before, and he was utterly, breathtakingly beautiful. I got this weird feeling I had never felt before that day. As if my heart had jumped to my throat. As if I couldn't breathe.

I ran. I ran as fast as I could, afraid that if I even blinked he would disappear again and I wouldn't be able to see him for another year.

"Genis!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. He stopped dead in his tracks, looking a bit startled. He stared at me with surprised eyes.

"Lloyd," He smiled. "It's been a while. How have you been?" He said nonchalantly. It was frustrating to a certain extent. I had to keep my hands on my pockets because they were shaking uncontrollably. _I_ was shaking uncontrollably. I hadn't realized how much I missed him until that day. And he was so calm. Staring at me with a warm, polite smile as if we just saw each other yesterday.

But I didn't care if he hadn't missed me these years. I needed him so bad, I couldn't hold back and simply stepped forward, took the box from his hands and threw it to the ground. I wrapped my arms around him tightly. He seemed bewildered and didn't hug me back. He just stood there while I took in his scent and ran my fingers through his hair. I pulled away and held his face softly with my hands, thumbing his cheekbones. I was taken aback by how badly I wanted to kiss him. I never thought about it before. But now . . . with him so warm and close to me . . . there was nothing I wanted most than to capture those thin, smooth lips with my own.

"You look older" He said, still attempting to have a trivial conversation while I was having all these shocking emotions "You are . . ." He squinted, pulling away from me. My arms fell to my sides "twenty two now, right? Yeah. You definitely look more mature. I'm not so sure about your brain, though. Has that finally started working?" He grinned. And it was just like old times when he made fun of me without really meaning it. I smiled.

"And what is it with you?" He frowned, picking up the box I had carelessly thrown away "Be glad there was nothing brittle in here or else Presea wouldn't be pleased at all"

_Presea_. That tightness was back on my chest.

"I've been looking for you for years. You moved around so much, I thought you were running away from me" I said, sounding harsher than I meant.

"You've been following me?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Sort of. Not exactly" I blushed and looked away, feeling embarrassed.

"Why didn't you ask Raine? I go back to Iselia every month. I write to her every week" Genis said. I felt stupid. I mean, I know I've never been one for brains, but this time I actually _felt_ stupid. I never went back to Iselia after that one time. Not even once. I actually thought Genis was running away and wouldn't tell Raine where he was. Could I be any more boneheaded?

"I told you. I . . . thought you were running away" I said.

He tilted his head to the side. "Why would I be running away?" He arched an eyebrow.

"I don't know. I, uh, I thought you were still mad at me about what happened" My hands were back on my pockets and my fingers started thumbing a few gold coins in there.

He blushed briefly but then regained his composure "It's been three years, Lloyd. I got over it" he shrugged.

I didn't expect to feel as bad as I did after I heard that. It was just like a few moments before when I felt as if I couldn't breathe, but now in a bad way. Why did it hurt this much? It was a good thing, wasn't it? He wasn't holding on to those feelings he had for me. He hadn't been waiting for a proper answer like a thought he was. He hadn't even been thinking about me all these years while he traveled. He. Got. Over. It.

But I hadn't. And that was painful.

"Come with me" He said suddenly "Let's go talk to Presea. I bet she'd be happy to see you" He motioned toward the wishing well a few feet away from us where Presea stood, staring intently at the water.

"Sure" I managed to say.

"Why were you looking for me, anyway?" He asked me to make conversation "Did anything happen?"

"No" I sighed "I wanted to apologize for the last time I saw you. I wanted to give you a real answer about how I felt. I acted like an idiot that day. I'm sorry"

He stared at me for a long while, looking surprised. His already huge blue eyes looked even bigger "Oh." He said "Thank you, I guess. I didn't know you were still thinking about that so much" He frowned and stared at the box while he walked.

He stopped and so did I.

"Not that it matters anymore, really. We're still friends anyway, but . . . what was your answer? What did you want to tell me all this time?" He said. There was this curiosity mixed with a tinge of discomfort in his eyes. I gulped.

"I . . . wanted to tell you I care about you a lot. You are my dearest friend. Yeah, you are my best friend. I don't feel that way about you but I want us to be as close as we've always been. You are a _very_ important part of my life" I said truthfully and yet there was something missing. I wanted to tell him something else. I didn't like this answer either.

"Oh" He said "Okay" He smiled "You are my best friend, too, Lloyd. Don't disappear on me like that again" He grinned.

I wanted to say _he _was the one who disappeared on me. But I didn't say anything else. I just nodded.

We met with Presea who looked almost the same as she did a few years ago. Perhaps a bit taller, but just that. She was still staring at the water inside the well.

"How does this water make your wishes come true?" She said slowly "Is it the water or the actual well? How can I capture this magic in a charm?" She asked herself.

"Presea" Genis was blushing furiously, but it seemed he didn't stutter anymore around her "Look. Lloyd's here" He smiled at me.

"Lloyd. It's been a while. How have you been?" she gave me a tiny smile.

My stomach twisted seeing how she said the exact same thing Genis said a few moments before. How much of her has rubbed off on Genis? I felt sick to my stomach.

"Hey, Presea. Yeah, it's been a long time. What are you two doing here?"

"Mizuho has a lot of knowledge on good-luck charm-making. Their culture believes luck to be a very real part of everyday life. I came here to seek inspiration as well as get some materials that they use in their own charms" She explained in a monotonous tone "Genis is helping me with the designs. I'm teaching him how to make them"

"What brought you here, Lloyd?" asked Genis "Are you looking for Sheena? She isn't here. She went to the temple of lightning. Not sure why, but she's been there for a few days"

"No. I came here to see if someone could help me repair my rheaird. I crashed it a few miles away from here" I replied.

Genis looked concerned "Are you okay? Did anything happen to you?"

"Nah" I shrugged "But the rheaird's in pretty bad shape"

"Maybe we can ask Orochi" Genis suggested.

As always, the people of Mizuho seemed to be ready for everything. They fixed my rheaird by the next morning and didn't ask for anything in return. I know they do this for Sheena, but it still feels wrong to accept stuff for free.

After a light breakfast, I went for a walk around the village. I didn't really feel like leaving now that I finally found Genis. I was actually looking for him, when I saw him with Presea –_again_- near the village's entrance.

"Y-You look really pretty today, Presea" He said. I guess I was wrong about the stuttering.

"Thank you, Genis" She replied kindly. I frowned. Something didn't seem right at all. Why was I feeling like this?

"I'm glad you are here" She said, linking their hands together. She was blushing softly and so was Genis. A pang of jealousy hit me right in the gut. It was a strong, bubbly feeling that made me see green and want to go tear her off Genis. But why? Why did I feel so bad seeing them together?

. . . Oh.

It hit me just as sudden as that jealous feeling. And I wasn't prepared for it at all. How could I have been so dumb? Twenty two years old and I still couldn't tell what my feelings for someone else were? I wanted to slam my head against the nearest tree.

But could I really do that to him? Bother him with my feelings like this after he moved on? After he finally got the girl he'd been crushing on for years to like him back? No. I wasn't that selfish. So I went to my rheaird and left.

I traveled the world for about three months, collecting as many exspheres as I could. But I missed him. I missed him a lot. So, I decided to go back to Iselia and see if he happened to be there- just like he said- to visit the Professor. I just wanted to see him one more time.

And there he was. Sitting on a bench in front of the pond that was near his house. I walked slowly toward him, my heart beating rapidly.

"Genis -"

"I don't want to talk to you" He frowned with his eyes fixed on the pond.

"Why not? What happened?" I asked him. He looked up and glared at me - his eyes turned an intense sapphire color. His eyebrows were knotted together "Just go away, Lloyd. Do what you always do and leave" He said as his eyes webt back to the small plants that grew by the tiny pond.

I didn't say anything. I just walked and sat next to him on the wooden bench. He scooted a few inches further away from me. I was staring at him but he didn't want to meet my eyes. He kicked a tiny rock with his shoe.

"That night. The night I told you how I felt," He started "I went back to your house the next morning to talk things out. To see if you still wanted me to come with you on your journey. But you'd already left" He said.

"I -"

"You didn't come back or even write for months, so I left to Palmacosta. I didn't hear anything from you for _years_. Then you show up at Mizuho saying you want to fix things up. And then you leave without saying goodbye _again_! Do you call that being friends? What's going on with you?" He raised his voice and stared at me demanding an explanation. I did the only thing that came to my mind.

I took one of his soft, petite hands, sandwiching it between my own. I leaned down a placed a kiss on top of it "You mean a lot to me" I said.

His eyes widened. They were staring at me with the clearest example of a shocked expression. His lower lip trembled slightly.

"I . . . have to go" He said suddenly, standing up and trying to leave. I didn't let go of his hand and stood up to block his way.

"I'm not letting you leave just like that" I said simply. I pulled him closer to me.

"Let me go, Lloyd. I mean it" He struggled trying to push me away, but I was stronger.

"Just answer a question for me and I'll let you go. I promise"

"What do you want?" He asked me, completely flushed and irritated.

"What do you feel for me?" I asked. My face was completely serious.

He thought about it for a moment until he tried to push me away again "We're friends! Now let me go"

"Is that it? It's that truly all you feel for me?"

"It is" He deadpanned.

So I let him go. I didn't take the chance when I could, and I wasn't going to force him now that he didn't feel the same way.

"Okay" I nodded. "I understand. Sorry" I pressed my lips together.

He took a step back, then another - all the while staring at me warily.

"I have to go start tonight's dinner" He said. He turned around and started walking back to his house, not bothering to wait for my answer or even saying anything else. I was about to leave, too, when I suddenly saw him stop.

"Lloyd?"

"Yeah?"

"Wait," He said as he turned around. I nodded and didn't move at all. He walked toward me with small, unsure steps until he was right back in front of me.

"What were you trying to say just now? When you said I mean a lot to you?" He asked.

"I, uh, that's what you – "

"I know that" He cut me off "But what were _you_ trying to say just now?"

I swallowed feeling nervous for some reason "I love you, Genis. These years have been the hardest for me" I said as sincerely as I could. I wanted to tell him how I really felt, yet I didn't want him to feel as if he owed me anything.

Genis didn't say anything for a few seconds. He lowered his eyes and his face turned a magenta pink "Me, too" He said quickly.

"What?" I said dumbfounded.

"I love you, too. I still do. You were right, I _was_ waiting for an answer all this time"

He didn't have to say anything else. I placed a hand on his back, pushed him closer to me and leaned down to kiss him just like I've wanted to do all this time. I moved my lips against his as he kissed back shyly and sloppily. I felt him trembling against me. I held back, trying to kiss him as softly and unrushed as I possibly could. My lips parted and he mimicked the action by separating his own lips. I wasted no time in sliding my tongue inside to touch his. I felt as if tiny ants were running up and down my spine. He wasn't doing much, letting me be in complete dominance of the kiss. I pressed my lips against his, trying to get his delicious mouth printed against my own. It was a silly thought, but that's how I felt. I ran my tongue against his lips once more and he granted me access to his mouth yet again. I sat down on the bench we were sitting before and he ended up sitting on my lap as we continued kissing. My hands slowly went up underneath his shirt to massage his back and shoulders. He moaned in response. We pulled away slowly as I dragged a bit of his bottom lip with me before separating completely.

We spent a few moments just staring at each other as we tried to catch our breath.

"I'm sorry I took so long to realize my feelings for you" I pushed a strand of silver hair behind his ear "Thank you" I whispered.

He tilted his head to the side before moving to sit next to me on the bench. "What are you thanking me for?" He asked.

"For waiting for me. For giving me a chance after all"

"It's not like I had a choice. I just . . . couldn't stop feeling this way about you, no matter how hard I tried" He smiled "_But,_" He raised his forefinger "I'm not giving you a chance just yet"

"Huh? Wait. What? But I thought – "

"You have to earn it" He grinned "And no more kisses until you do. I won't forgive you that easily" He said.

"But, Genis, how do I earn a chance?" I asked with confusion "Come on, can't you just forgive me? We've been waiting three years for this"

"You can start by stopping by tomorrow. Maybe we could go to the woods and have a picnic or maybe we could have dinner at that new cafeteria the mayor opened"

"Like a date?"

He smiled "Yeah, Lloyd. Like a date"

I was glad that things between Genis and me worked out well in the end. And by finding him, I found my old self again. I guess people like me are made for people like Genis. He's very mature and smart for his age. While I'm . . . not. So maybe that's why he knew right away how he felt about me, and on the other hand it took _me_ years to find out.

But in the end, what's meant to be it's meant to be, I guess. No matter what.

I'm glad we took the chance.

_Ca c'est le fin_

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><p>And that's it! Thank you so much for reading! Hope you liked it!<p>

**~MonaLisa**


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